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6/9 Amazon Deals / Finish Powerball Tabs, Dove Soap, Little Tykes Basketball Set, Pampers Wipes - Happy Money Saver

6/9 Amazon Deals / Finish Powerball Tabs, Dove Soap, Little Tykes Basketball Set, Pampers Wipes - Happy Money Saver


Happy Money Saver

Monday is here again and that means more Amazon deals!  Today I have some great prices on Powerball Tabs, sunscreen, swimming necessities, Dove soap and more!  Let’s get to it! ********************** *Disclaimer: Amazon prices can – and often do – change quickly. So if you see something you like, be sure to snag it fastcontinue reading

DIY Crystal Bath Bombs

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

The colors and textures of crystals provide endless inspiration. These Crystal Bath Bombs were created with geodes in mind. Fine grained Dead Sea Salt gives a crystal-like texture to each bath bomb. Then, various colors of mica are painted on the salt to give depth and interest. Deodorized cocoa butter is added to the bath bomb mixture […]

The post DIY Crystal Bath Bombs appeared first on Soap Queen.

Introducing the Cocktail Fragrance Oil Collection

by Kelsey with Bramble Berry @ Soap Queen

We have a new collection of cocktail-inspired scents that will get you in the creative spirit. It includes Scotch Whisky Fragrance Oil, Spiked Eggnog Fragrance Oil, Sparkling Fig Cocktail Fragrance Oil, and Kentucky Bourbon Fragrance Oil. They have warm, spicy, and sweet notes that work well in holiday projects, but can also be used year-round. We can’t wait to see […]

The post Introducing the Cocktail Fragrance Oil Collection appeared first on Soap Queen.

Dove Soap | eBay

Dove Soap | eBay


eBay

Find great deals on eBay for Dove Soap in Soaps for Bath and Body. Shop with confidence.

Dove soap set

Dove soap set


MummaMart.com

mummamart is online shopping website. Provide all branded products below mrp. We provide all products with best quality and free home delivery

4/13 Amazon LOVE/ Maybelline New York Brow and Eye Pencils

by Flower @ Happy Money Saver

Thursday’s Amazon daily deals include Maybelline New York brow and eye pencils, a Barbie Dreamtopia Bubbletastic fairy doll, a Hotwheels Dragon Blast playset, Nature Made burp-less fish oil, Airhead Extremes sour candy, and a Lil Lockitz memory studio. Amazon prices can –  and often do – change quickly. If you see something you like, becontinue reading

The post 4/13 Amazon LOVE/ Maybelline New York Brow and Eye Pencils appeared first on Happy Money Saver.

I’ve Read 5 of the 143 Words in Your Facebook Status, and Now I Hate You, Old Friend

by SHANNON REED @ McSweeney’s

I am outraged beyond belief by the despicable opinion I have convinced myself you have posted on Facebook. I have thus written this diatribe as a response, tagging you, so that your mom, that guy you met at that conference in Miami, and the other three people you know who still bother to read Facebook responses of more than ten words will all be briefed on the fact that I am extremely irate about what I think you wrote.

It is true that I have lately been looking for a reason to go apeshit on anyone, even to the point of driving slightly over the white-dotted line on the parkway, in hopes of causing another driver to give me the finger while passing me so that I could blame him for sparking a road rage incident that could potentially land me in the morgue. This is no doubt due to a potent combination of the unusually rainy weather; the current state of American politics; and the plot twists in this season of Game of Thrones. Nevertheless, because it is out of my power to change any of those, I have chosen to misread your status and place my anger squarely on your shoulders (and Facebook page).

In fact, even though we have known each other for over half of our lives, I hereby disown you entirely. Later today, after I have read all of the responses that our mutual friend Marie will post to this tirade, and pose a few rhetorical questions and logical fallacies in response, I will destroy all reminders that our lives have ever intersected in any way. If this means burning my copy of our high school senior yearbook, changing my daughter’s middle name, and serving our parish priest with a cease-and-desist order so that he no longer asks me how you are, so be it. What I think you wrote is more upsetting than doing all of these things. You are dead to me.

The depth and vigor of my response may be surprising to you, especially since I have entirely and completely misinterpreted what you wrote, failing to grasp the tone, substance, and point of your status. Yet I hope you will understand that in these trying times, it is extremely important — nay, it is of utmost importance! — that I be allowed to jump wildly to a conclusion that is not supported by the facts in any way. Further, instead of being abashed by Marie’s replies, which will point out that I am “completely wrong” and possibly “did not read the status the whole way through” and might even be “in need of some serious downtime, like, get offline, friend-o,” I intend to use them as further proof that everyone is against me in every way and that I have nothing in common with any other human being on this planet. I will then post a meme quoting the Dalai Lama.

That I will try to connect your status to my growing concern about my ability to protect my children’s health and well-being (emotional, mental, and physical) must be allowed without comment, at least if you hope that we can ever be friends again — which we cannot, at least until a year goes by, and Facebook shows me this posting as a memory. Then, I’ll re-read your original status, and it will make me chuckle, because now I will finally get the joke, and then I’ll realize, Oh, Lordy, I completely got the whole thing wrong last year, and I’ll wonder how I could have ostracized one of my oldest and dearest friends even to the point of burning my National Honor Society pin because we were inducted together in our junior year (and which, by the way, was not easily set on fire, so it ended up burning me pretty badly on on my right finger in a way that still hurts from time to time). Full of remorse, I will reach out to you to say I’m sorry, and you’ll be like, “Well, everyone was crazy at that time because of the president,” and I’ll say, “I’m uncomfortable with you using the adjective ‘crazy’ so cavalierly,” and you’ll say, “But seriously, weren’t you crazy?” I will really want to push the point about the importance of thoughtful language choices, but I won’t. I’ll decide to just let it go, and we’ll grab a beer at Ralph’s Inn just like we used to and things will almost be back to normal because a relationship based on trust and loyalty can withstand even my needing to go apeshit so badly I kinda deliberately misunderstood your harmless Facebook status.

But! In the meantime, we’re all stuck here in this miserable cesspool that is the current epoch in American history, so I’ll conclude this onslaught by saying that I have never been so outraged as I am by my partial reading of your status and I wish you ill, based on the extreme hurt you have not actually caused me, but which I caused myself by wildly misunderstanding your status update.

In conclusion, I’d also like to take this opportunity to blame your Facebook status update for the fact that I will be a little brusque with my children tonight, and that I’ll be upping the stakes on my commute tomorrow to driving 5 miles under the speed limit, because I already suspect, as I near the end of this tirade, that writing this is actually not going to make me feel better in any way at all.

Now that I am done, I see that it did not. I blame you.

DIY Crystal Soap Gift Set (with printable!)

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Gems and crystals make great gifts. If your budget doesn’t allow for the real deal, soap gems are a great alternative. The Silicone Gemstone Mold creates perfectly-sized bars to put in a gift box or bag. These gem soaps are simple to make and great for beginners. They’re easy to customize with color and fragrance to suit your […]

The post DIY Crystal Soap Gift Set (with printable!) appeared first on Soap Queen.

Whisky Beard Balm DIY

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Facial hair requires its own particular care and maintenance. Without extra moisture, the skin underneath can become itchy, flaky, and dry. Beard oil and balms help promote healthy facial skin, as well as keeping beards soft and full. This Whisky Beard Balm is incredibly easy to make. The majority of the balm is comprised of our Beard Oil […]

The post Whisky Beard Balm DIY appeared first on Soap Queen.

Bramble Berry’s Creative Journey

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Bramble Berry has humble beginnings. Soapmaking has been a creative outlet for CEO and Founder Anne-Marie since she was 16. After an unsuccessful career as a correctional officer, she decided to turn that outlet into a business. Our first warehouse was only 400 square feet, and we sold melt and pour soap, five fragrances, and a few […]

The post Bramble Berry’s Creative Journey appeared first on Soap Queen.

Meditations for Major American Cities

by KATE VILLA @ McSweeney’s

Minneapolis

Find a relaxing place
Whatever that means to you
A chair or pillow or snowbank will do
Begin to breathe
Think about Target
And how great Target is
Did you know that your great state is the home of Target?
Whatever that means to you
Take that in
Have you ever pronounced it Tar-jhay?
Very French
Very sophisticated
Let your body melt into the snowbank you’ve chosen
Breathe in through your nose
Take in the air that’s coming off all those lakes
How many lakes are there?
Begin to count
Stop when you get to 10,000
Because that’s how many there are
Open your eyes slowly

Los Angeles

Find a place that is warm and comfortable
Probably in your car
Just find your car
Did you park it on Montana?
You definitely parked it on Arizona.
Have you ever been to Arizona?
Let your muscles go
Drive Sit on the 405
Drive Sit on the 405
Drive Sit on the 405
You’re out of new podcasts
How does that happen
How many hours have you spent in your car this week?
Maybe you should take Wilshire
That was a mistake
Who is going to Beverly Hills at 4 pm on a Tuesday?
Clear your mind
You’ve seen the inside of the Universal lot more times this month
Than you’ve seen your mother
Breathe in
Soften your fingers
Soften your palms
Forget about your dog
He pooped on the floor
But you have a view of the valley
And a personal assistant job
You are paid hourly to pick up someone’s
Viagra
Soylent
Coconut water
Breathe out
You asked for this
Open your eyes slowly
Maybe you should go to law school?

Denver

Find a comfortable spot
Breathe
Soften your muscles
Light up a joint
Smoke it
Breathe in
Breathe out in rings if you can
You are not high
You are getting high
You are almost high enough
You are high
Shit a little too high
Look
Mountains
Finish your hike
Plan tomorrow’s hike

San Francisco

Take off your VR headset and close your eyes
Settle into your ergonomic desk chair
Make sure your feet are flat on the floor in your Vans
Let your body relax
Take your hands off the keyboard
Breathe in through your nose
Breathe out through your mouth
Seriously
take your hands off the keyboard
Let your muscles go
Melt
from the tip of your head all the way down to your toes
Hands off the keyboard
I’m going to unplug it if you can’t keep them off
I know it’s wireless
I was testing you
Slowly
drain the stress from your fingertips
Make 1 million dollars
Open your eyes slowly

Chicago

Flutter your eyes closed
Begin by getting into a comfortable place
Like June or July
Let the very small tide of Lake Michigan wash over you
Feel how cold the water is
Don’t fish in it
Breathe in
Breathe out
Palms to heart-center
Feel that Italian beef coming back up
Never mind it’s just a burp
Let it out
Figure out where you’re having brunch
Repeat:
The Cubs won the world series
The Cubs won the world series
The cubs won the world series

Whatever that means to you
Everything
Literally everything
Think about how many times you posted about the Cubs on social media this year
Open your eyes slowly

Seattle

Flutter your eyes closed
Listen to the waves
You can’t sleep
Take in the rain as it hits the roof
Let it calm you
Slow your breathing
Your son hands you the phone
It’s a radio show
They know about your wife’s death
Breathe in
Give in to the sensation
Talk about your perfect match
Your son is ruining your life
But also helping?
You get fan-mail
Is Meg Ryan out there?
Wait for Meg Ryan to fly across the country
Because she will
Surprise you on a highway
Empire state building
Amicable fiancé break up
You are Tom Hanks
You have always been Tom Hanks
Open your eyes slowly
Where is Chet?

Nashville

Begin your meditation by thinking about a small, backroom bar that you’ve played your miniature guitar in recently
Breathe in the smoke
Take a sip of a free beer
Remember, you get free beers because you play music
You also get away with wearing fedoras
Now imagine you’re at a brunch place
Sit there for three hours
Remember to be gentle to your body
Have another bloody mary with bacon and shrimp on it
Listen to the sounds of coffee brewing
Eggs frying
Notice a new sound
It’s 19-year-old girl who dropped out of college to sing at the Planet Hollywood next door
Breathe in
Breathe out
Do you remember that whiskey bar next door to that all-glass pop-up creative agency?
Uber there
Take a sip of whiskey
Taste
Burning
Running down your throat
A little gets on your tweed vest
Ask the mustached man next to you for his pocket square
Breathe in the polka dots
Let your body relax
What exactly is a creative agency?
Open your eyes slowly

Boston

Fluttah yah eyes closed
Put sugah
In ya cawfee
Remembah how wicked sweet Havahd yahd is
Cahlm yaself
Entah a dahk pahty
Eat some chowda
Cheeah on the Red Sahx
Breathe in
Breathe out
Open your eyes slowly
Recite: “Charlie on the MTA

Washington DC

Check in with your body
Pass the Japanese embassy
Where are you today?
Somewhere on a rooftop with twinkle lights
Sipping recently distilled whiskey
Soften your shoulders
Let go of the tension
In your arms
What used to be on this corner?
A middle-class immigrant family’s home
With a hair salon below it
Now it’s a Whole Foods
Buy some kale
Because you’ll probably use it soon
Just kidding
You won’t
It’ll go bad
In your fridge
Pass the vice president’s house
Bring yourself back
To your breath
Soften your gaze
Pass the National Cathedral
Is there a good wood-fired pizza place close?
Pass the Washington monument
Begin to move your toes slowly
Feel the power
Of old white men
You have never seen the inside of the capitol
Open your eyes slowly
Buy artisanal goat cheese from what used to be
A crack den

New York

Find a comfortable place
Somewhere you can de-stress
Not midtown
Don’t go to midtown
I’m not kidding
Re-center yourself
Check in with your body
Do you have everything you need for the day?
Spend 5 minutes trying to swipe your metro card because you’ve started this now
Swipe again, I guess
Take the A to the 1 and transfer at Columbus circle
Unless the B is running
Then just take the B
You could also transfer to the F or even take the L across
But then you would have to walk
But it would be faster
Just Be in your body
Now you’re in Times Square
Being humped by the man in the Elmo costume
Relax into your breath
Feel the tips of your fingers
Feel the pavement under your feet as you walk
End up in a Chinese restaurant
Eat your fill
Realize it has a C rating
Vomit into a trash can
Breathe in through your nose
Breathe out through your mouth
Relieve yourself on the sidewalk
Open your eyes slowly
Burn a 20 dollar bill

Portland, Maine

Breathe in through your nose
Soften your hands
Soften your eye lids
Breathe out through your mouth
You flew to the wrong Portland
Open your eyes slowly
Call your fiancé because you’re not making it to Oregon for your wedding tomorrow

DIY Dove Soap Body Wash

DIY Dove Soap Body Wash


Instructables.com

A while back ago, I tried microwaving a bar of soap, basically in an effort to entertain my kids on an oh-so-boring cold-weathered Saturday. The only bar soap in the...

Monologue: I’m Diana From Anne of Green Gables and I am Fucking Drunk

by ZOE DANIELS @ McSweeney’s

Holy shit holy shit holy shit. That cordial was cor-dialllll, right, Anne? Anne? ANNE! ANNNNNEEEEEEE! Hahahahah, oh my god I’m just here like screaming your name and you’re right there! On the other side of the kitchen island! I mean, it’s not an island in the kitchen, like we’re in a kitchen on an island. Like Prince Edward Island! Where we LIVE! Ahahahahah oh my god whoa. Like, whoa. Do you know what? You are my best friend, do you know that? You know that. Can I see your bosom? Ew, no, not like that, just, like, I don’t know. I’ve never seen any except on the pigs and I don’t think that’s what they’re supposed to look like anyway. God, come on. Don’t be such a prude! I’ll show you mine!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You gotta do it, go real low then stand up. Try it! Seriously! Oh my god, it’s like… WHOA, you know? Ugh, where is all the DICK! I’m so horny I’d fuck Fred — what’s his name? The pink-faced one? He’s like, ugly hot, you know? Like, you hate yourself but that’s part of it. Omigod, shut up Anne you’re gonna marry Gilbert Fuckin’ Blythe but the rest of us gotta eat, too. Is Ruby Gillis’s brother around? Still? Because I would. You know I would.

Shhhh! Shhhh! Oh shit oh shit is that my mom. Oh shit, shut up. Anne! No, I’m down here behind the cupboard. Say I’m sick! Say you’re sick! Say I’m a pig because I’m on the floor and my tits are out! Hahahahah! No, no, no, okay, no. MAMA? HI, MAMA! I’M JUST LEAVING WITH ANNE! SHIRLEY! YOU KNOW, MY BOSOM BUDDY! YEP! BYE! Hahahahahah oh god Anne she knows. WE’RE GOING FOR A WALK AROUND THE FIELDS! BYEEEEE!

Close the door. Anne! The door! Oh my god oh god okay. Whoa, it’s cold. I feel way better. I feel good. I’m fine. Walking is fine. No, hold on to my arm! Ah! Isn’t this great? Two gals, our whole lives ahead of each other? Except, I guess, me, because I know this is impossible but I just have this feeling that, like, I’m not going to get old. Or, like, I’m not going to age. I know that’s ridiculous, but look at me! I’m so ALIVE! I’m so HUMAN! Anne! Anne! Look at that fence! Don’t you think sometimes that it’s so sad how we keep horses in FENCES? Like, they were made to run free. To walk around and, I don’t know, eat apples? Have their own lives? But I guess they want to stay with their horse families. We sold a horse once, but I was glad. He was really scary, like, big and had these teeth like an old-timey puppet. I guess the puppets maybe had horse teeth. I’ve never made a puppet. I bet Matthew would love to make you a puppet! You should ask him. What do you do with the teeth when you kill a horse? I’ve never seen a dead horse. Saw a really sick one, so you can kind of guess what’d it look like dead, but not a real dead one. Anne? Anne! Where are you? Oh my god, Anne, you can’t pee there! That’s Mama’s secondary garden!

Anne, can I just say and I know I’m being a little bit serious but let me just say — wow, I feel like Jane Andrews — No, I just mean because I’m being so SERIOUS! Can I just say I love you? So much! You’re the best thing that ever happened to—

Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, that cordial was probably bad or something. I normally don’t puke from sugar. I have a very strong sweet tooth — Hah! God, I wish I was thin. I mean! I don’t, because obviously my body is the ideal for this time and place, plus I’ve got this adorable mouth, and, yes, you’re right, this hair, but Anne. Seriously? Seriously. You are so pretty. I wish I looked like you. Seriously! I wish I—

No, I’m sorry. I’m done. I don’t need any water. I’ll just—

Seriously, this time I’m done. Absolutely. Phew.

It’s not big deal, really! I know you meant well. You know how much I love sugar, ha. No, of course I know you did it to be nice. What do I even know about calories, you know? At least you’re not a Pye. Those bitches bring me straight butter to eat and laugh while I do. They want me to get lumpy but I’ve got a corset so joke’s on them. Wow, yeah, anyway I should definitely get back inside. Mama’s gonna wonder what we went outside for. What did we go outside for? Okay, one question then we go back in.

What are Marilla’s tits like? Anne! I’m just curious! Because the pig thing! Come on! Don’t tell me you’ve never—

Honestly, that’s the last time. Honestly. I swear. The bottle was only like half full and I’ve definitely puked like three litres. Oh man. I love you. You’re the best. Seriously? Anne? YES, MAMA WE’RE OUT HERE! I’M COMING INSIDE IN A MINUTE! WE HAVE BLANKETS! WE’RE NOT COLD! You don’t have to show me your — WHOA, hahaha okay good! Because honestly I thought the little hairs were a me thing, but the pig has them too, so I was like… but no, normal! Oh god thank god I’m so glad. Okay. THANK YOU. I feel so much lighter! Probably the puking, yeah. Probably the puking. Okay, bye Anniekins, I love you, I loved your JUICE you brought! And your boobs. Your hairy boobs! Like a pig! Like me! God, I’m tired.

I wonder what a dead horse looks like.

Personal Care & Beauty

Personal Care & Beauty


Family Dollar

Save on personal care products and beauty supplies. Family Dollar stocks toothpastes, razors, soaps, lotions, and more, from the names you trust.

4/19 Amazon Daily Deals/ Bunchems Mega Pack

by Flower @ Happy Money Saver

Wednesday’s Amazon daily deals include a Bunchems mega pack, a Pokemon Z-Ring Set, a Hyper Toss action game, The Pigeon Wants a Match game, a Matchbox Stinky Vehicle, and a Tyco Terra Climber radio control vehicle. Amazon prices can –  and often do – change quickly. If you see something you like, be sure tocontinue reading

The post 4/19 Amazon Daily Deals/ Bunchems Mega Pack appeared first on Happy Money Saver.

Eggnog Cold Process Soap DIY

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

When the temperature starts to drop, nothing beats a glass of eggnog. Well, nothing except a glass of eggnog with a little splash of rum. If you’re a fan of that combination, you’ll love our new Spiked Eggnog Fragrance Oil. It has notes of vanilla, nutmeg, caramel, and rum.  Those warm and comforting notes inspired […]

The post Eggnog Cold Process Soap DIY appeared first on Soap Queen.

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by COLIN NISSAN @ McSweeney’s

Originally published October 20, 2009.

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I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes — specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.

The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it’s fall, fuckers.

Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you’re going to fucking love my house. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.

Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!

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Become a patron (Decorative Gourd Tier or above) and read the early drafts of “Decorative Gourds” as well as the email exchanges between Colin and our editor as they prepared the piece for publishing way back in 2009.

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Available in print with
The Best of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Also available in mug form!

4/17 Amazon LOVE/ Pure Leaf Green Tea

by Flower @ Happy Money Saver

Monday’s Amazon daily deals include Pure Leaf Iced Tea, Similac Advance Infant Formula, two Amazon Collection necklaces, a TMNT throw, and an Osprey backpack. Amazon prices can –  and often do – change quickly. If you see something you like, be sure to snag it fast before the price goes up! Prices valid as ofcontinue reading

The post 4/17 Amazon LOVE/ Pure Leaf Green Tea appeared first on Happy Money Saver.

TMZ Coverage of Historic Celebrity Feuds

by BOB VULFOV @ McSweeney’s

Cain and Abel

The first two sons of Adam and Eve are at it again. Cain is FURIOUS that Abel’s sacrifice was better received by God and now, the battle lines are drawn in sheep’s blood. Drama alert! Abel took out a restraining order against Cain last month, claiming in court documents that Cain kept asking him to go into the fields with him alone. Abel said to the judge, “I know he’s just gonna kill me out there!” Cain vehemently denies these allegations and plans to file a countersuit for libel. God offered some straightforward advice to the two siblings: “Work. It. Out.”

Martin Luther and Pope Leo X

The Pope has a clear message for Martin Luther when it comes to the Catholic Church: You’re outta here! Martin Luther’s manager tells TMZ that his client has been EXCOMMUNICATED from the Church. The latest blowup between these two comes on the heels of Luther accusing the Catholic Church of nepotism, corruption, and the sale of indulgences. Uh, was one of the 95 Theses an invitation to Martin Luther’s barbecue? Because we smell beef!

Isaac Newton and Robert Hooke

Royal Society sources tell TMZ that Isaac Newton still really, really, really doesn’t like Robert Hooke and thinks he’s a “punk with a microscope.” Hooke came after Newton in his latest diss letter, accusing the latter of plagiarism and saying, “Stop comparing me to Newton, he doesn’t even write his own theories!” The allegation is even more shocking because Hooke featured ON NEWTON’S LATEST ACADEMIC WORK, PRINCIPIA! Newton fired back by scrubbing every reference to Hooke in Principia. Looks like we’ve found two objects that can’t be brought together by gravity.

The Hatfields and the McCoys

These two Appalachian families are embroiled in a nasty feud that’s burnin’ hotter than a skillet full of spoonbread. Last evening, William Anderson Hatfield hopped on a table at his local tavern and yelled to the patrons: the McCoys CROSSED A LINE by stabbing two Hatfield brothers. The patriarch of the McCoy family, Randolph “Old Ranel” McCoy was livid after hearing about Hatfield’s tavern call-out, telling him, “You know what, dude? Let’s just f***ing fight already! Me and you. Enough of this family drama.” We’ll reach out to Hatfield for his reaction … stay tuned.

Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr

It’s official! TMZ spoke with representatives from both sides, who said that a date has FINALLY BEEN SET for the long-awaited duel between Hamilton and Burr. Both men will use Wogdon duelling pistols and will square off in Weehawken, NJ. The trash talk has already begun, with Burr calling Hamilton a “Federalist coward of low stock.” Wow, more like Aaron Burn! We’re in line for a lot more epic trash track as both duelers have signed on to do press conferences together in Toronto, Brooklyn, and London before the duel on July 11th.

Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla

Sorry, Nikola Tesla, but Thomas Edison won’t be apologizing anytime soon for calling Tesla’s alternating current technology “impractical” and “lame.” The Edison Electric Light Company frontman LAID INTO Tesla during an interview with TMZ, calling Tesla a “lunatic germaphobe with a ridiculous wardrobe.” Ouch. Edison claims he wasn’t trying to start beef, but the damage has been done. Tesla has apparently locked himself inside his laboratory/home, going full-recluse and only interacting with pigeons. As sources put it, “Nikola is slipping into a dark place.” Our thoughts are with Tesla… hopefully he builds some sort of machine that’ll light up that dark place for him.

Rose Quartz Melt & Pour Soap Tutorial

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Rose quartz is known as the Heart Stone and is thought to inspire imagination and love. Harness that energy with these Rose Quartz Melt and Pour Soaps. They feature a soft pink hue with swirls of white to emulate the real stone. They are scented with Rose Quartz Fragrance Oil, which is a fresh and citrusy spin on a rose scent. The soaps couldn’t be easier […]

The post Rose Quartz Melt & Pour Soap Tutorial appeared first on Soap Queen.

Amethyst Crystal Soap Tutorial

by Amanda @ Soap Queen

Happy Friday, everybody! This is Lane (aka Mama Bass) from Mama Bass Handmade Soap, and I am going to teach you how to make Amethyst Crystal Soap Points out of clear melt and pour soap. I’m very excited to be given this opportunity to test out Bramble Berry’s new Amethyst Fragrance Oil and even create something […]

The post Amethyst Crystal Soap Tutorial appeared first on Soap Queen.

If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises

by MICHAEL HARE @ McSweeney’s

— Hear that new one from the BSO?

— Shit, yeah, that Brahms? That one knocked me square on my ass. Even more so than the Shostakovich. Pardon me, the Grammy Award-winning Shostakovich.

(They toast.)

— We should repeat.

— We should but we won’t, because the Recording Academy hates Boston. Watch. Watch them give it to the frigging New York Phil, which is a fine orchestra if you like listening to a bunch of soulless prima donnas collect paychecks.

(They nod, drink.)

— Gotta respect Andris Nelsons.

— The kid can conduct his ass off, in the bravura tradition of Seiji Ozawa.

— Friend of mine down in Quincy just named his pit bull “Ozawa.”

— Remember ’02, when Ozawa did Beethoven’s Seventh?

— Course I do.

— Course you do. We all do, because it was an indelible performance. An indelible performance that the New York Times called “plodding.” Please. Please do me one favor, Mr. Big New York City Critic, please don’t talk to me like I don’t got two ears and a brain. Because I do, and also a heart, which Seiji touched with that masterful Seventh.

— They act like there’s no culture north of the Triborough. Like guys like us don’t know a sublimely realized Seventh when we hear one.

— Just don’t talk shit about Seiji, all right? You come up here and you try to talk shit about Seiji — I don’t care if you got a Pulitzer or a MacArthur or a Pulitzer and a MacArthur and an award from the frigging National Book Critics Circle — I’ll lay you the fuck out.

— Figuratively speaking.

— Of course. This city once aspired to be the Athens of America. I’m not about to disrespect that majestic civic aspiration by acting like a goddamned fucking barbarian.

- - -

— Other day I went over to the Museum of Science.

— How was it?

— Well it was the fucking Museum of Science, so how the fuck do you think it was? It was superlative. It was a testament to our region’s proud tradition of rational inquiry.

(They toast.)

— Meanwhile, all you hear is, “Silicon Valley this, Silicon Valley that…”

— Because they hate Boston, because they’re jealous of Boston. And I’m sorry, but making an app to call a cab isn’t science. You know what is science? Life science is science.

(They nod, drink.)

— Gotta respect our biotechs.

— I swear to God, I get all these disgusting frigging fantasies about a bunch of these Silicon Valley guys coming up here and talking shit about our biotechs. Being like, “Oh yeah, Boston’s got a nice little biotech scene.” And I’m like, “Little?” And then I very figuratively lay them all out. I very figuratively beat them back to Cali using the gold Nobel medal awarded to Dr. H. Robert Horvitz.

— Friend of mine out in Walpole just got a Horvitz tattoo.

— Sick.

- - -

— So I’m in the MFA last weekend, where I volunteer as a docent.

— A valuable service to an invaluable institution.

(They toast.)

— I’m in Gallery 242, and this kid comes over, says, “Are these are the only Rembrandts?”

— And this kid is from where?

— From a state that wants so hard to be part of New England but is actually just part of New York, and it knows it, and so it’s got all this twisted anti-Boston resentment.

— Friend of mine up in Lowell deals cards down in Connecticut. Says it’s awful.

— What it is is anti-Boston.

(They nod, drink.)

— Kid asks for more Rembrandts. That’s some true Connecticut bullshit.

— You want to see a hundred Rembrandts? Here. Here’s a bus ticket. Enjoy Manhattan. P.S., it sucks. You want to see five Rembrandts, and really see them? Really engage with each canvas? Come to Boston.

— Because there’s far, far less to see and do here, and so it’s easier to concentrate.

— Exactly.

- - -

— Know where I haven’t been in a wicked long time? Plimoth Plantation.

— I’m there two, three times a month. It’s a jewel.

(They toast.)

— You wonder why it’s not constantly crammed with people coming in from all over to experience what life was like in the seventeenth century in a fledgling agricultural settlement on the outskirts of what would one day become Boston.

(They nod, drink.)

— Could be the thing about people hating Boston.

— So it’s guys in costumes speaking in an archaic vernacular and churning butter under a hot sun or whatever. Not flashy enough for you? Here. Here’s a bus ticket. Go numb your brain in Times Square.

— The quiet of the place, its frank modesty, that’s part of what makes it so moving. That, and its brave refusal to ignore the darker aspects of our history.

(They nod, drink.)

— Ever feel like some people, like non-Bostonians most especially, might be sleepwalking through something major? Like, not the shit we see, but the shit behind the shit?

— Like America’s silent epidemic of depression? Its festering addiction to distraction? Like how some people mistake conspicuous consumption for meaningful experience? And how some others mistake hatred for virtue? Like how so many have lost contact with the communities that should help to sustain them and that they should help to sustain?

— Yeah, dude. Basically that. I worry that one day soon we’re all going to find ourselves condemned to lives of isolation and sorrow, all trapped inside the same airless, boundless nightmare anti-community.

— Like Fairfield County, Connecticut?

— Exactly.

— If the whole world turns into one big Fairfield, that’ll make us two guys from Connecticut.

— Two guys from Connecticut, just begging to get laid out.

Complete Care Baby Essentials Gift Set

Complete Care Baby Essentials Gift Set


Dove US

An ideal baby gift for parents-to-be, Baby Dove Complete Care Baby Essentials Gift Set is a collection of products perfect for new arrivals

Free Beginner's Guide To Soapmaking: Melt and Pour - Soap Queen

Free Beginner's Guide To Soapmaking: Melt and Pour - Soap Queen


Soap Queen

We are going back to the basics! Here is a free beginner’s guide to the art of Melt and Pour soapmaking that includes a step-by-step guide through a beginner’s melt and pour project in this part. Interested in cold process soap? Click here for a free comprehensive guide to Cold Process soapmaking. And, bonus, downloadable …

DIY All-Natural Lavender Soap

by Flower @ Happy Money Saver

This all natural lavender soap will leave your hands so soft and smelling like a fresh field of flowers!   If there is one thing I truly enjoy, it is making my own homemade items, like this lavender soap. You can choose what goes into it, how it is made (process), the shape it comescontinue reading

The post DIY All-Natural Lavender Soap appeared first on Happy Money Saver.

DIY Bourbon & Beeswax Candles

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Candles are particularly comforting during the fall and winter. This Bourbon & Beeswax Candle is the perfect addition to your home for autumn and beyond. It’s made with the new Kentucky Bourbon Fragrance Oil, which features notes of spicy clove, leather and oak cask. The Kentucky Bourbon Fragrance Oil is part of our limited edition Cocktail Fragrance Oil […]

The post DIY Bourbon & Beeswax Candles appeared first on Soap Queen.

4/11 Amazon LOVE/ Maybelline New York Baby Lips

by Flower @ Happy Money Saver

Tuesday’s Amazon daily deals include Maybelline New York Baby Lips Balm, a Panacea necklace, V8 V-Fusion drinks, The Pigeon Wants a Match game, a Fisher-Price Imaginext pirate ship toy, and an Amazon Collection necklace. Amazon prices can –  and often do – change quickly. If you see something you like, be sure to snag itcontinue reading

The post 4/11 Amazon LOVE/ Maybelline New York Baby Lips appeared first on Happy Money Saver.

Monologue: A Representative for Dove’s New Line of Men’s Body Soap Asks For a Bit  of Your Time

Monologue: A Representative for Dove’s New Line of Men’s Body Soap Asks For a Bit of Your Time


McSweeney's Internet Tendency

Hi there, hi, excuse me, sir? Could I interest you in trying a sample of Dove’s new line of men’s body wash?I know, I know you’re busy. What do yo...

Sparkling Fig Melt & Pour Soap Tutorial

by Anne-Marie Faiola @ Soap Queen

Here in Bellingham, WA, almost every restaurant has a specialty cocktail. Many of the drinks feature house-infused liquor and funky combinations like thyme and peach puree. The interesting combination of flavors, colors, and textures in artisan cocktails inspired this melt and pour project. It’s made with Sparkling Fig Cocktail Fragrance Oil, which is a fruity yet […]

The post Sparkling Fig Melt & Pour Soap Tutorial appeared first on Soap Queen.

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